Control

Where are the “mazzo di fiori, cioccolati e ceni” said my friend Antonio when I sought him for advice on how to handle D.

“This is what a man does when he is in love or cares for you, he brings you flowers, buys you chocolate and cooks you dinner.” Antonio was trying to make me see that I deserve the best and should look at all my male relationships using my head not my heart.

He saw why I thought it selfish for someone to contact me after three months of silence. My life, my friendships and my heart do operate with a swinging door. People cannot just decide to enter and leave when they find it convenient. Seeing someone on their terms, when they find it comfortable is not fair.

I do not like when someone dictates to me how things are going to be — in all aspects of my life. If someone sees me as a bother, and makes it clear they want to be left alone, then I will leave them alone. As I did in this situation.

So when I responded to him, I told him that I was not that happy to hear from him, because the past was still fresh, but since he was leaving I would see him.

And once again he took the cowardly route and declined. But it did not go unnoticed that he declined kindly with grace and indicated that it was in my best interest not to see him. What a gentleman. Nothing makes a woman happier then when a man tells her what’s best for her.

Of course Yelena had a response for him.

“You know what I would tell him, you should think twice before you decide to disturb someone.”

But this time I did not follow her advice.

Insignificance, inconsistency, and irresponsibility do not deserve a response.

Where are the men that do not accept no for an answer, that have courage, that recognize a good thing, that own up when they make a mistake, that take risks, that leap?